Shilove continued to attend the church school. She learned the Kindergarten fundamentals though I was told she had a hard time. Throughout the last two years I would receive little “letters” from her, papers with colorful scribbles on them; most recently with her name shakily scrawled across the page. I often sent packages to her. Without children of my own, I loved going to Wal-Mart, Kohl’s and Carters to buy her adorable little outfits. On one visit to Haiti, I brought her a pure white dress full of lace and ruffles with matching white ruffle socks. I included a box full of rice, corn, oil and spaghetti for her family. Each package was full of art supplies, toys, soap, Band-Aids, vitamins- things she would never have without a sponsor. During my most recent trip to Haiti in March, I had the opportunity to see her again. She and her mother Maris came to see me the morning that I was to leave. Shilove was dressed to the nines in one of the outfits I had brought for her. Her hair was full of ribbons and barrettes; she carried the purple sunglasses I had bought her at Carters. Her mother, a tiny woman, was wearing a shirt sent for Shilove and using a makeup bag I had sent as her purse. Our visit was short, but I gave Shilove many hugs and told her to listen to her mommy. I made the point to tell her that Jesus loved her. I briefly spoke to Maris, asking about her family and if they attended church- she said they went to Bethesda Church. Before we parted ways, I wrapped my arms around Shilove. Thinking back, I realize that I kept hugging and kissing her cheek. Maybe somehow, I knew I wouldn’t see her again.
I got a call today. One I wasn’t expecting- not in my wildest dreams. It seems that Maris became quite proud of the fact that her daughter had an American sponsor. She began telling everyone in their neighborhood how beautiful Shilove was, how the “blans” loved her and showered her with gifts. Shortly after I left, Shilove got very ill. Many counseled Maris to take Shilove to the Bethesda church medical clinic. But, Maris did not. Shilove even asked her mother to call the church pastor to pray with her- Maris did not. You see, Maris has not accepted Christ as her Savior and instead of looking to Him for help she brought Shilove to a Voodoo Priest. I don’t know what type of “treatment” Shilove received from the priest, but she did show some improvement at first. But, she eventually got worse and passed away. Shilove was 6 years old.
The news leaves me a little shell-shocked. I’m not overly emotional; rarely do I cry at times like these. We had not spent a lot of time together; our visits were sporadic and brief. But her pictures fill my walls. Often I would look at them and wonder what was going to happen to her. Would I be able to help her further her education past high school? Maybe she would be a teacher some day; do something to rise above the poverty that surrounded her. I looked forward to taking her to the beach when she was older and maybe even out to the countryside for a holiday. My heart is angry, wondering if my generosity somehow brought this about. Jealously can cause people to do awful things- even to an innocent child. I’m angry with this mother who was so proud that she flaunted the gifts and then rejected the very help that might have saved her child’s life. I’m angry that even when the medical resources were available to her, she chose to revert to the lie of Voodoo. I’m sad that Shilove will not enjoy all that life had to offer. I’m angry with myself. While I enjoyed buying things for this precious little girl and dreaming of what her life might be like one day, I failed to pray for her, as I should. When she came to mind, I would pray for her but it was not consistent. I wonder if I had had concentrated more on that than on “stuff”, things might have been different.
Yet, I know God uses all for His glory. Shilove was able to attend a Christian school even if just for three years. I have to trust that she heard of Jesus and His love for her. I have to trust that God will honor what she was able to understand- and rest in His will. It gives me great comfort to know that in the time of deep distress, realizing she was sick, Shilove knew that she should pray and ask God to help her. There is peace in knowing that God may very well use this little girl’s life and death to bring her parents to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Maybe seeing the fruitlessness of Voodoo, they will in turn seek the hope that a relationship with Jesus offers. Pray with me to this end.
Beyond the questions, there is hope that a difference can be made. I also sponsor a boy, Stevenson. In March, I gave him my email address and he has begun writing me 3x’s a week. He is eager to learn English and I have been able to set him up with a tutor. This tutor, a young man that I know well, is a mature believer. It is exciting to see a friendship developing between Stevenson and Schneider- and my hope is that Stevenson will be encouraged to grow in his walk with Christ. Even though I am not in Haiti and can’t be involved in his life 100%, it is a comfort to know that I can create some opportunities for growth- in education and his spiritual life.
I want to encourage you to sponsor a child. Not necessarily in Haiti- but somewhere. And to do this in a way that allows you to actually get to know this child. There are joys and sorrows in any relationship- as it has been demonstrated here. But God is faithful- His ways are higher than our ways- and He sees the big picture, the one that we will only see when we join Him in Eternity.
