It's bothered me that the "Christmas spark" has been absent this year- and as I survey those around me, it seems that they too are sharing the feelings I have. Is it because we are so overwhelmed with life? Is it due to the great losses we have suffered this year? Do we feel guilty for rejoicing when we know others are quietly suffering? Are we just stodgy adults who have lost the childlike wonder?
I'm still sorting the questions- trying to figure it out. What I can say is that I am so thankful for vacation! Beyond the myriad of to-do's I have set before me this week, I look forward to catching up on some reading and seeking refreshment- in the Word, in prayer, in good books (along with my new fleece blanket- Thanks Katie!), and with friends.
This morning, I pulled out one of the books on my "to read" pile. The Path of Loneliness by Elisabeth Elliot. I read this book back in 1999, while working at WOL Inn for the summer. It actually makes me laugh, to think that at 21, I thought I was lonely.
Now, don't get me wrong. I don't feel immensely lonely. I'm blessed to be a single with a very full life. I made the decision a number of years ago that I would not sit around waiting to do something big- or thinking that I had to be married to start serving God. No, I've made a point to live life on purpose. Ministry and adventure is not something to put off- because if you do, you miss it. My life is so rich (example- I just got a phone call from one of our youth that accepted the LORD last year and he wanted to share something he wrote about how God has changed his life in the last year- the most wonderful Christmas present I could receive- what a humbling gift).
But sometimes, when it gets real quiet, the feeling of loneliness creeps in. I've been learning that God uses our emotions to spur us closer to Him; to reveal a need that only He can fill. While loneliness is a valid emotion and state- if it doesn't drive me closer to the Lord, it is not beneficial. When those feelings arise, while I need to acknowledge them, the reaction I should have is to remember the truth of scripture (another post on this coming soon.....).
There were some passages from The Path of Loneliness that I wanted to share:
"From graduation from college at twenty-one until I was twenty-six I waited for Jim Elliot, wishing I wouldn't want him so much ... Instead of taking away my appetite, the Lord showed me the indispensable lesson of Deuteronomy 8, a review of Israel's wilderness experience. While they craved for the food they had had in Egypt, God gave them manna. Manna was supernatural food, miraculously provided, and it was all they needed. But even a miracle did not stop the wanting of leeks, onions, garlic, watermelons and fish. If He had given them what they naturally craved, they would never have learned to eat manna, they would never have acquired a taste for the bread which came down from heaven.
God made them hungry on purpose- in order to humble and test them, to discover whether it was in their hearts to obey Him, and to teach them what was far more important than leeks and onions, that man does not live by those things alone, but by the Word of the Lord. "The Lord your God was disciplining you as a father disciplines his sons."
So He disciplines us. He pays us that "intolerable compliment" of loving us inexorably. He harrows our souls, making us long for something we cannot have, in order to reveal to us what He wants us to have, which in the long run is far better."
(An amazing story is the one of Jim and Elisabeth Elliot- I highly recommend Passion and Purity which details the development of their relationship as well as Shadow of the Almighty.)
Another quote:
"Our loneliness cannot always be fixed, but it can always be accepted as the very will of God for now, and that turns it into something beautiful. Perhaps it is like the field wherein lies the valuable treasure. We must buy the field. It is no sun-drenched meadow embroidered with wild flowers. It is a bleak and empty place, but once we know it contains a jewel the whole picture changes. The empty scrap of forgotten land suddenly teems with possibilities. Here is something we cannot only accept, but something worth selling everything to buy. In my case, "selling everything" meant giving up the self-pity and the bitter questions. I do not mean we are to go out looking for chances to be as lonely as possible. I am talking about acceptance of the inevitable. And when, through a willed act we receive the thing we did not want, then Loneliness, the name of the field nobody wants, is transformed into a place of hidden treasure."
Tonight, at our Christmas Eve Service, the pastor talked about Emmanuel~ God With Us~ Christmas reminds us how Christ stepped onto the stage of humanity, at just the right moment, when all the players and events were in place. He willingly left the throne and glory of Heaven to take the form of a lowly babe. He exposed Himself to the depravity of the world in order to make a way of salvation. Christ bore the sin of the world so that our relationship with God could be restored. Christ with us. God with us. The veil has been torn- the eternal gap has been bridged and now we can cry out "Abba Father". His final words to us were, "Lo, I am with you always even until the end of the age." He is our Ever Present Father, our Comforter, Eternal Peace, Strong tower, Mighty Warrior, Gentle Shepherd, Righteous Judge, Faithful Forgiver, the One who Calms the Storms, the Gentle Whisperer, our Lover, Master, Savior, and Friend.~ Christmas ~
~ God with us ~
~ God with me~ Present in the dark, lonely moments- beside me when I'm fearful and uncertain- enveloping me when I'm sad and disillusioned- paving the way when I take risks and tread on unfamiliar territory- praying on my behalf before the Throne of God - sympathetic with my suffering - reminding me of my value,worth, purpose -proving His faithfulness, His care, His love - displaying who He is.
LORD, may I see the possibilities that this season of my life offers. Enable me to take advantage of the opportunities you bring- the people, experiences and lessons. You are using all these things to reveal Yourself- help me not to miss You. Thank you for "showing up" and displaying Your power, Your presence, Your glory. May my natural reaction be to worship YOU- for You ARE good- You ARE faithful- You ARE trustworthy and You ARE With ME~ Immanuel. This season is Your best for me- help me to claim Your truth moment by moment. Amen
1 comment:
Wow - thanks for that reminder. I really needed to read it tonight. I have The Path of Loneliness on my bookshelf at home. I think I need to get it out and read it. And it wouldn't hurt to read Passion and Purity again either.
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