Grace

I was fortunate to have a delightful visit with my friend Angela this weekend. We first met five years ago when I was assigned to student teach at the school where she teaches. Angela was so kind to include me in her activities and we became fast friends. We have kept in touch over the years and I’ve always been so blessed when we share- whether in person or through email.

You see, Angela has every reason to be angry with God. By the worlds standard, she has every excuse to be bitter and resentful. Thirteen years ago, Angela loss the use of her legs. She has been in a wheelchair ever since. Though many would weaken in defeat, she has risen with grace to accomplish so much. She has pursued her dreams: attending college, becoming an amazing teacher, supervising the middle school program at her school, living independently, traveling, receiving her Masters Degree- to name just a few accomplishments.

But, even more amazing is the woman Angela has become. She is graceful. In the midst of her life situation, giving the glory to God. Praising Him for All things. Seeing His hand working in her- through her. She is yielded to Him- allowing Him to use her wherever she is- whether it is in the classroom, with her family, her church, or in her relationships.

She and I both have experienced similar relationship situations this last year. We’ve emailed back and forth- sharing the joys, the questions, the frustrations- and though our stories are so different- she has faithfully encouraged me to see God’s hand moving in all things. It has been wonderful to sit with her and know she completely understands what I’ve experienced- the fear, the failures- the unanswered questions.

Angela shared an amazing quote this weekend- so amazing that I have to share it:

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers.”
Letter to a Young Poet by Ranier Maria Rilke

Unanswered Questions has been a theme of my heart for many years. There are specific experiences that remain unanswered. Some have burdened my heart- grieved my heart- caused me to question present decisions and choices. But yet- God wants me to live with these unsolved questions. He has decided that, for whatever reason, it is not time for me to know the answers. Maybe because I wouldn’t be able to handle them- maybe the lessons He wants to teach me are in the questions. These questions force me to seek Him- His heart- His plans- His desires. Maybe that is what it is all for. Perhaps, someday He will choose to reveal the answers- and maybe He won’t. I need to concentrate on today- what He is showing me, what He is allowing me to experience. Being completely present in the present- not in the past and not in the future.

I am thankful for my relationship with God- one whom I can put my full confidence and hope in. And for friends that He brings across my path- who provide encouragement, challenge and insights from their journeys.

Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend."